Captain Awesome Saves the Winter Wonderland

  Table of Contents

  1. It’s a Winter Wonderland

  2. Is It Super Zombie Dinosaurs?

  3. Trying Tryouts

  4. The Whiny Whimperer Whines

  5. Evil Strikes the Winter Wonderland

  6. Chilly with a Slight Chance of Evil!

  7. The Return of Mr. Chill

  8. Jake and the Stampeding Elephant

  9. It’s a Winter Wonderland After All

  10. A Surprise Star

  ‘Galaxy Zack’ Excerpt

  CHAPTER 1

  It's a Winter Wonderland

  By

  Eugene

  TING!

  TINGGG!

  TINGGGGG!

  “I love to play the triangle!” Eugene McGillicudy yelled out in a very heroic voice. In Mrs. Randle’s music class, Eugene always went for the triangle. “I like any musical instrument that’s shaped like a slice of pizza!”

  SHAKE!

  SHAKE-SHAKE!

  “Keep your triangle,” said Eugene’s best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones. “I like the maracas. I don’t know what’s inside, but I hope it’s dried bugs.”

  Every Thursday morning, Sunnyview Elementary School’s music teacher, Mrs. Randle, passed out an assortment of xylophones, tambourines, recorders, cowbells, bongo drums, and more to all the second graders in her music room.

  Eager students from different classes grabbed them like free chocolate, and sang and played under Mrs. Randle’s waving baton.

  “Cowbell!” cried Evan Mason as he grabbed one from the stack.

  “I’m getting the tambourine!” yelled Meredith Mooney, dressed in pink, from the ribbons in her hair to the shoelaces in her pink shoes. She had secretly stuck pink tape on the tambourine to mark it her own.

  Then Colin Boyle, who was from Mrs. Duncan’s second-grade class, grabbed a set of bongo drums.

  BAMMITY-BAM! BAM!

  He bammed them with the palms of his hands. “Nice,” he said.

  “Okay, class,” Mrs. Randle said. “Let’s get started.”

  “And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four,” she called, swinging her baton like she was swatting at a lazy fly.

  Eugene tinged and Charlie shook, because superheroes who step in front of danger aren’t afraid to make as much crazy loud music as possible. Just like that time Super Dude fought his musical enemy, Trouble Clef, and knocked the musical scales right off his slide trombone.

  What’s that?

  You’ve never heard of Super Dude? Really?! Have you never been to a comic book store? Do you not watch cartoons on television? Do you not have the limited edition Super Dude Wristwatch?

  Super Dude was absolutely the greatest superhero ever—he was also the star of a number of comic books. Eugene had boxes of them under his bed. And in his closet. And stacked in the corner. Following Super Dude’s example, Eugene created his own costume and became . . .

  TA-DA!

  CAPTAIN AWESOME!

  Along with his best friend, Charlie, also known as the superhero Nacho Cheese Man, he formed the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to stop evil from eviling in Sunnyview.

  This was good because Eugene and Charlie lived in Sunnyview and there was a surprising amount of eviling going on.

  But so far, at least for today, Charlie and Eugene hadn’t seen any bad guys at Sunnyview Elementary School—just the happy, loud sounds of a triangle and a set of maracas.

  “Can we please stop all that noise?” asked the awful My! Me! Mine! Mere-DITH Mooney. The pink ribbons in her hair were tied in perfect bows. Her pink bows were perfect like the grades she expected on her report card.

  Meredith had a lot of rules and one of them was about noise. “Noise,” she always said to Eugene, “is noisy. And I doubt there’s anything more noisy than you.”

  I’ll bet she thinks it’ll wrinkle all that pink, Eugene thought.

  “Mrs. Randle, I can’t concentrate on my tambourine if Barfgene and Charlie Thomas Bonehead keep making those awful sounds.”

  SHAKE!

  “Is she talking about us?” Charlie whispered to Eugene.

  TING!

  “Bad guys always complain about superheroes,” Eugene whispered back. Meredith was not only the pink Mooney who complained about everything, but she was also Captain Awesome’s archenemy, Little Miss Stinky Pinky!

  “Little Miss Stinky Pinky’s trying to stop our Anti-Evil Symphony!” Charlie said.

  “Well, that’s what she thinks!” Eugene replied. “No evil is going to knock the notes off our scales today!”

  CHAPTER 2

  Is It Super Zombie Dinosaurs?

  By

  Eugene

  “Class, I have a special announcement to make,” Mrs. Randle said.

  A special announcement? Eugene loved special announcements.

  “It’s something very special,” she added.

  Very special announcements are even better, Eugene thought.

  “Is the school going to be turned into a rocket ship and blast off for Altair’s green sun where all of my friends can get superpowers?” Eugene asked hopefully.

  “Ummm . . no . . . ,” Mrs. Randle said.

  “Is the school going to be turned into the new headquarters for the League of Superheroes for Justice?” Charlie asked.

  Mrs. Randle shook her head. “Not quite, Charlie.”

  Then it must be something really, awesomely superly biggish! Eugene thought.

  “I know!” he called out. “The school’s going to be turned into a giant science lab that takes zombie dinosaurs and turns them into super zombie dinosaurs!”

  But no, that wasn’t right, either. “Before we go on winter break,” Mrs. Randle said, “we’ll be performing our holiday play: The Winter Wonderland!”

  Eugene and Charlie looked at each other.

  “I thought you said it was something very special?” Eugene asked.

  “It is very special!” Mrs. Randle replied. “It’s going to be a wonderland of winter.” She was so excited it was like she was jumping out of her shoes.

  “Don’t worry, Mrs. Randle. I’ll star in the play for you,” Meredith volunteered.

  “Everyone will get a chance to participate,” Mrs. Randle said. “Tryouts are on Monday. There will be songs, music, dancing, holiday lights, everything you need to make a wonderland!”

  Songs and performances . . . in front of an audience . . . at school . . . at night?! Eugene’s mind was twirling. Maybe this is better than super zombie dinosaurs.

  “There’ll be three rehearsals after school,” Mrs. Randle said. “You guys have to be ready for your big stage debuts.”

  “I’m ready right now!” Eugene said. “Listen!” He TINGED his triangle again as hard as he could.

  “That’s really great, Eugene.” Mrs. Randle’s ears were ringing. “But you can sign up for the tryouts here.” She pointed to the clipboard on her desk.

  “Make way!”

  “Me first!”

  “Where’s that pencil?”

  Everyone rushed to the sign-up sheet to list the parts they wanted to try out for. Eugene and Charlie shot each other a look. They knew instantly where they wanted to be.

  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Charlie?”

  “You bet I am,” he said.

  “Snowflake Symphony!” they said at the same time.

  “We’ll be able to see the whole auditorium!” Eugene said. “As Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man, we can keep an eye out for Sunnyview’s major villains.”

  “No evil badness will sabotage our holiday play!” Charlie said.

  But badness was already in the room. Who were all these peop
le blocking their way to the clipboard? This was not a classroom filled with happy children, this was really the Evil Student Mutant League!

  And they were out to stop Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man from joining the Snowflake Symphony! Well, not today!

  “Step aside, Evil Student Mutants!” Captain Awesome said.

  CHAPTER 3

  Trying Outs

  By

  Eugene

  IN!

  On Monday, Eugene’s audition was super.

  “MI-TEE!” he yelled. “I’m in the Snowflake Symphony! As lead triangle! Look out, Winter Wonderland! My Triangle of Justice shall ring loud this day!”

  TING! TING! TING!

  “Cheesy-YO!” Charlie said. “I’m in, too! Mrs. Randle said I shook the maracas like the best maracas-shaker she’d ever seen!”

  SHAKE-SHAKE-SHAKE!

  Evan Mason was next for his audition. He did a very dramatic performance as a snowflake.

  “Today, I am a snowflake,” Evan said. “Watch as I fall gently from the sky, landing safely on the ground, as quiet as a whisper. Then!” His voice became more dramatic. “I’m scooped up by a snowplow, scraped into a pile of snow by the side of the road, and mashed into a giant snow fort. The end!”

  Next, Sally Williams did her impression of Super Snowball, the world’s greatest snow-powered superhero. “I am Super Snowball!” she yelled in a very heroic voice. “No evil shall escape from my slushy snowballs!”

  Sally ran around the music room throwing imaginary snowballs at invisible villains. “Slush attack! Your crime is no match for my anti-evil snowballs!”

  Wow! Sally can really fight evil, Eugene thought.

  But it was Mike Flinch who really impressed Eugene—and everyone else in the class—with his song.

  “Snowman,

  snowman,

  wonderland.

  In the snow

  globe in my hand.

  If I shake you left

  and right,

  Will you be dizzy

  day and night?

  Snowman,

  snowman,

  wonderland!”

  BRAVO!

  Everyone in the class applauded. Mrs. Randle rushed to Mike and shook his hand.

  “I think we’ve found our lead,” she said. “Class, Mike will star as the Sunnyview Snowman in The Winter Wonderland!”

  HOORAY!

  Everyone knew how important that role was. Ted Lee was last year’s Sunnyview Snowman and he went on to play the Cactus King in the Spring Pageant! Mike had big shoes to fill.

  “Way to go, Mike!” Eugene and Charlie cheered.

  “Uh . . . I’d like to thank my Uncle Lewis for teaching me everything I know about show tunes,” Mike said. The only thing bigger than Mike’s smile was the big, round white snowman head he’d be wearing as his snowman costume.

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s great, hooray and all for Mike,” Meredith said. “But let’s get to the really big news. What star part do I get to play?”

  Mrs. Randle flipped through the notes on her clipboard. “You get to play the Icy Icicle in the Frozen Chorus!”

  “What?!” she yelled. “What?!” she repeated. “What?!” she said again. “The Icy Icicle is not the star! It’s just an icicle! What kind of play stars an icicle?! None! I should be the star!”

  The pink ribbons in Meredith’s hair shook so hard that one of them popped out. She stomped off to the girls’ bathroom to repair her pinkness.

  Charlie and Eugene smiled at each other. What a great day!

  “The Winter Wonderland is only a few weeks away,” Mrs. Randle said. “After-school practices will be on the next two Thursdays from three-thirty to five p.m. Please let your parents know and have them sign your permission slips.”

  YAY!

  “No homework on Thursday nights!” Eugene cheered.

  “Oh no,” Mrs. Randle corrected. “You’ll still have to do your homework, but Winter Wonderland practice will be fun!”

  BOO! Still have to do homework?! How is that fun?! Eugene wondered.

  Some fun it was, if the dreaded Homework Monster from Planet Textbook was still assigning evil assignments! Enough was enough! It was time for Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man to fight against the Homework Monster’s unfair Study Bombs.

  CHAPTER 4

  The Whiny Whimperer Whines

  By

  Eugene

  “I can see everything!” Eugene exclaimed, standing in the back row with the rest of the Snowflake Symphony.

  “Do you have super vision too?” Charlie asked.

  Eugene shook his head. “No, but I have the perfect seat to watch out for evil.”

  It was Thursday after school and all the Winter Wonderland performers arrived for their first rehearsal. While they stumbled around looking for their assigned seats, Eugene and Charlie were already sitting in theirs.

  “It’s good to get here early,” Eugene said.

  “Evil doesn’t rest, even during rehearsals!” Charlie agreed.

  “Evil doesn’t stand a chance,” Eugene said. “The citizens of Sunnyview have nothing to worry about with Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man on the job.”

  TAP!

  TAP!

  TAP!

  Eugene’s anti-evil declarations were interrupted when Mrs. Randle tapped her baton against the music stand.

  “Instruments . . . ready!” she called out. “And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!”

  The Snowflake Symphony started to play the Winter Wonderland music. Eugene and Charlie played their instruments as loud as possible.

  But then a hand shot up from the orchestra. “Mrs. Randle!” the hand called out.

  Eugene traced the hand to Jake Story, a second-grader who was in Mrs. Martin’s class. Jake stood up. He had red hair that was slicked back like bright red string. He was wearing a tie.

  A TIE!

  Who wears a tie to school? Eugene wondered. And who keeps it on after school?

  “Mrs. Randle, oh yoo-hoo! Mrs. Randle!” Jake called out.

  “Yes, Jake?”

  “I can’t play my triangle because Eugene is banging on his way too loud,” Jake said. “It’s hurting my ears! And I do get ear infections . . .”

  “Very well,” Mrs. Randle said. “I have the perfect solution.”

  Mrs. Randle did have the perfect solution. For evil. She not only moved Eugene far away from Jake, but also from Charlie. Worse, Eugene’s view of the audience was now blocked by branches from the giant snow-covered tree on the stage.

  As Eugene grumbled in his new seat, he and Charlie shared a knowing look—the kind of all-knowing look that superheroes share whenever they realize there’s a bad guy right in the room with them raising its evil hand and complaining about “ear infections.”

  This “Jake Story” from “Mrs. Martin’s class” was clearly up to no good. For this was no ordinary second-grader! Jake was really The Whiny Whimperer, a constant complainer determined to keep Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man apart. If that was true, he was in for an awesome surprise!

  But fear not! Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man would not be separated by evil whining!

  CHAPTER 5

  Evil Strikes the Winter Wonderland

  By

  Eugene

  “Class, I have a terrible announcement to make.”

  Oh no! Eugene thought. Terrible announcements are always terrible!

  “Let me guess: Our principal is really an alien invader from the Planet Do-What-I-Tell-You?!” Eugene asked.

  Mrs. Randle chuckled. “You have a wild imagination, Eugene, but alien invaders would be good news today.”

  If alien invaders were good news, what could possibly be the bad news?

  Eugene looked around for evil, but his Captain Awesome Evil-Detection Powers detected nothing out of the ordinary. “But Mrs. Randle, everything is where it should be. No one’s taken the glittery pinecones. The fake snowflakes are still in their boxes and even
the Sunnyview Snowman costume is on its hook.”

  How bad can it be?

  BAD.

  “It seems that poor Mike Flinch has gotten the flu and will no longer be able to be the Sunnyview Snowman in the play,” Mrs. Randle sadly informed the students.

  “Oh, my,” Meredith said, very dramatically. “Poor Mike! Poor, poor Mike! Whatever will we do without him!” She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead like she was going to faint. “Looks like you’ll need the best actor remaining to play the snowman,” Meredith said, trying her hardest to be the best actor.

  “Oh, I know what we can do—” Eugene started to say.

  “So do I, Eww-Gene, so do I,” Meredith interrupted. “The Winter Wonderland needs someone to come in and save the day. The play needs someone who can be the Sunnyview Snowman and make the Winter Wonderland a true wonder of winter.” She looked at Mrs. Randle with really big eyes, “Tell me, Mrs. Randle, who will play the Snowman now and save our Wonderland?”

  BARF! Could anyone be more barfier than Meredith?

  “Thank you, Meredith, for that very dramatic performance, but you are perfect for the Icy Icicle.”

  “But I only have one line, Mrs. Randle!” Meredith protested. “‘Brrrr . . . it’s cold even for an icicle like me.’ I could say it in my sleep.”

  “And you say it so well, dear,” Mrs. Randle said. “Besides, after careful consideration, I’ve made my choice. The student playing the Sunnyview Snowman will be . . . Eugene McGillicudy!” Mrs. Randle announced.