Captain Awesome Meets Super Dude! Read online

  Table of Contents

  1. Super Dude Saves the Day! Again!

  2. Villains Galore!

  3. The Gross Market of Grocery Doom!

  4. The Dinner Guest of Evil

  5. Breakfast of Champions

  6. It’s Duper Suuuuuuuude!

  7. The Ewwwww of Evil!

  8. The Fast and the Curious

  9. Kitty Barfbow and the Unicorn Barfers

  10. The End of the World!

  ‘Captain Awesome has the Best Snow Day Ever?’ Teaser

  About Stan Kirby and George O’Connor

  BAM!

  POW!

  LASER!

  Super Dude lasered the evil Ro-Broccoli right in the stalk. “Never again!” Super Dude vowed. “Never again shall you terrorize the peaceful citizens of Dudeville with your minerals and vitamins of terror!”

  “You have not heard the last of the bright green Ro—” But Ro-Broccoli was unable to finish his sentence.

  DOUBLE POW!

  Super Dude popped the evil broccoli a powerful Dude-punch. Ro-Broccoli wobbled, and his eyes spun in different directions like twirling tops.

  The robot vegetable who planned to replace all the desserts on Earth with organic Broccoli-Bots fell into his bright green spaceship.

  SLAM!

  Super Dude kicked the door shut, lifted the spaceship off the ground, and hurled it into the air.

  “Back to the intergalactic produce section with you!” he yelled in his most heroic voice ever.

  The spaceship disappeared into the black hole over the Dudeville Clock Tower. Bright lights flashed across the sky as the black hole closed with one big space-sucking noise that sounded like the flush of a supertoilet.

  The world was saved. Again!

  “Thank you, Super Dude!” the citizens cheered.

  “You’re welcome, good citizens!” Super Dude stood with his hands on his hips. His cape flapped in the breeze. “For the good people of Dudeville, there is nothing better than sending evil mutant robot broccoli right back to where it belongs. Now, who wants ice cream?!”

  The Super Dude theme music started to play. The movie screen went black. The credits rolled.

  Still wearing their 3-D glasses, the audience stood and cheered.

  “Super Dude versus Ro-Broccoli Three was the best one yet!” yelled Eugene McGillicudy.

  “Gotta stay for the end of the credits,” his best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones, reminded him.

  “There’s always something cool at the end!” Sally Williams added.

  They stared at the screen as the last credit rolled by.

  And then Super Dude suddenly appeared on screen. He looked at the audience. “Hi, kids,” he said. “Don’t forget that fighting evil is our number one mission. KA-POW!” Super Dude’s foot came out of the screen in 3-D as he ka-pow kicked!

  WHOA!

  Eugene, Charlie, and Sally jumped back from their seats.

  “That put all the Ds in 3-D!” Eugene said.

  “I almost felt a breeze from the kick of the mighty Super Dude,” Charlie exclaimed.

  “Pow!” said Sally. “That was the greatest Super Dude movie yet!”

  The kids dropped their popcorn buckets in the trash and left the theater. Eugene’s mom was waiting to pick them up.

  “That was the greatest Super Dude movie in the world!” yelled Charlie.

  “That was the greatest Super Dude movie in the universe!” Eugene cried.

  Wait a second. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Super Dude? But he’s the superhero star of his own comic books, TV show, and movies, and is soon to be appearing in “Super Dude on Ice!” He once punched the sprinkles off the Cupcaker, who was trying to cover the world in chocolate frosting.

  More important, Super Dude was the reason that Eugene, Charlie, and Sally joined together to become Sunnyview’s own superheroes: the Sunnyview Superhero Squad.

  As they left the theater, Eugene sighed. “Wouldn’t it be awesome to meet Super Dude just once?”

  “Sure would, Eugene,” said Charlie.

  “It’s on my superhero To-Do list,” Sally said. “That, and save the world!”

  Something evil was at the McGillicudys’. After dropping off Sally and Charlie, Eugene’s mom pulled the car into their driveway.

  As soon as she did, Eugene’s Awesome-Sense tingled like a jingle bell caught in a spider’s web.

  Eugene scanned the yard and the sidewalk. He looked up at the big oak tree. Nothing was out of place. Nothing looked unusual. He opened the car door.

  THUMP!

  The door bumped into something big. Something that was waiting for him.

  LICK!

  And that something was furry and it licked Eugene right in the face. Only one supervillain ever licked victims in the face.

  Mr. Drools!

  NO!

  Mr. Drools tried to push his drooling face into the car. Was he trying to come inside and smother Eugene with his toxic drool?

  I’m not even prepared! Eugene thought.

  That’s right. Eugene was not prepared to fight evil. Thinking that nothing bad could ever happen at a Super Dude movie, he had left his Captain Awesome supersuit in his bedroom, folded away in his backpack. Eugene looked around the car. He needed something to distract Mr. Drools: an old French fry, a candy bar wrapper, or even a squeaky toy.

  How can I fight an evil Drool Dog from the Howling Paw Nebula without a distraction?

  WAHHH!

  Eugene recognized that cry of doom.

  Queen Stinkypants crawled from the house. Eugene’s dad was right behind her. “Come back here!” he cried.

  Two villains? Were Queen Stinkypants and Mr. Drools going to team up with some sort of double-drooling diaper attack?

  WAAAAAAH!

  Queen Stinkypants screamed her piercing baby scream as Eugene’s dad picked her up. Mr. Drools turned away from the car.

  Perfect! Her evil scream was just enough to distract the dog. That was all the time Eugene needed. He ran from the car and dodged the evil Mr. Drools.

  “No drool for you this day, Mr. Drools!” Eugene shouted.

  He made it to the front door faster than that time Super Dude beat the Speed Demon in Super Dude’s Racing Spectacular No. 9.

  “Thanks, Dad!” Eugene said. “You saved the day.”

  Sometimes all it takes to defeat one villain is to distract it with another villain!

  “How was the movie?” Eugene’s dad asked. He held Queen Stinkypants far from his nose in case she unleashed a serious stinkbomb.

  “It was only the greatest movie in the whole entire universe, including Mars, Jupiter, and Planet Ginormatron!” Eugene cried.

  “Even better than Super Dude versus Mega Zombie Dude?” Eugene’s dad laughed.

  “Super better!” Eugene replied.

  “Well, you guys are home just in time to see Norm,” Eugene’s dad said.

  Norm?

  Eugene skidded to a stop. The name didn’t ring any bells in his brain. Who’s Norm?

  “Eugene! Greetings!” Norm walked across the lawn to the front door.

  GASP!

  Eugene remembered everything now.

  “GASP!” He actually gasped. It was the gasp of horrible recognition. That wasn’t just Norm, it was another archenemy of Captain Awesome: the evil Whistleblower!

  And he’s here! At my house! Eugene thought.

  “Ready for soccer season? I just stopped by to see if you wanted to sign up for the team,” The Whistleblower said.

  A trick question! Eugene had to think fast. “Are you ready for soccer season?” he asked.

  The Whistleblower frowned. “I asked you first,” he said
.

  “I know you are, but what am I?!” Eugene replied.

  “Okay, Eugene, maybe you should head inside,” Eugene’s dad said.

  “You bet,” said Eugene. He ran upstairs to his room. He reached under his bed.

  BACKPACK!

  UNZIP!

  CAPE!

  SUPERHERO!

  Captain Awesome was downstairs in an action-packed minute. He leaped off the third stair and landed at the bottom. But he slipped on the rug and it carried him across the floor with a WHOOSH! Captain Awesome slid out the front door and landed on the porch.

  “You okay, Euge—I mean, Captain Awesome?” Eugene’s dad asked.

  “Oh, fine, sir,” Captain Awesome replied. “I was just—where did The Whistle—I mean Norm, where did Norm go?”

  “He had a soccer emergency,” Eugene’s dad said. He headed back inside with Queen Stinkypants.

  Captain Awesome looked both ways down the street. “I’ll get you next time, Whistleblower,” he vowed.

  After breakfast the next morning, Eugene’s mom said the most evil sentence ever: “We have to go to the grocery store.”

  NO!

  The Gross Market of Grocery Doom was filled with gimonstrous aisles of organic asparagus, the deadly juice of the prune, and “healthy” cereals that tasted like wet cardboard!

  “Do I have to?” Eugene asked his mom.

  “Well, you could stay here on your own,” Eugene’s mom replied. “All alone. In the house. By yourself . . .”

  Well, now we’re getting somewhere, Eugene thought.

  Until he thought about it some more. He realized there were three very big things wrong with his mom’s stay-at-home plan:

  1. Mr. Drools could attack again.

  2. The garbage can filled with diapers of Queen Stinkypants could come to life.

  3. The Whistleblower could return to flag Eugene with his Red Card of Destruction.

  No, the Gross Market of Grocery Doom was the safest choice.

  Or was it? Within two minutes, Eugene realized he should’ve stayed home. The market was the most boring place in Sunnyview. Even more boring than Professor Yawn, who kept making Super Dude sleepy in Super Dude No. 91.

  The aisle with the recycled bamboo toilet paper? Boring.

  The aisle with the gluten-free oatmeal-raisin cookies? Boring.

  The aisle with the vegetables that looked like fruit? Tricky. Also boring!

  But there was something very different just beyond the gorgonzola cheese.

  My Awesome sense sure is ring-ting-tingling! Eugene thought. Eugene looked up and saw the faces of two more of Captain Awesome’s gallery of villains.

  It was . . . the Double Dipper and the Raging Randonkey! And they had a cart full of organic food! Eugene was about to open his backpack and change into Captain Awesome, but then he remembered something really important about the Double Dipper.

  After they first met, the Double Dipper turned out to not be so bad. In fact, he even liked Super Dude. And the Raging Ran­donkey was a fan too. People who like Super Dude can’t be all bad, Eugene remembered.

  “Hey, Eugene!” the Double Dipper said. “You see the new Super Dude movie yet?”

  “Just saw it,” Eugene responded with pride.

  “Isn’t it the best movie in the world?” said Randonkey.

  “In the universe,” corrected Double Dipper.

  “Superlutely!” Eugene said. “Hey, what are you guys doing in the Gross Market of Grocery Doom?”

  “Oh, we’re cooking dinner for our girlfriends tonight,” said Randonkey. “Roasted vegetables with okra, turnips, zucchini, and carrots.”

  Double Dipper added, “I’m making a pie for dessert!”

  Girlfriends? GROSS! thought Eugene. And cooking vegetables, too? Maybe these guys aren’t so good after all.

  Eugene headed back toward his mom, who was trying to find a ripe cantaloupe, but he caught something out of the corner of his eye. An orange something peeking over a giant pyramid of oranges.

  COULD IT BE?

  Eugene watched as an orange-haired woman dressed in an orange jacket and matching orange pants squeezed oranges one after the other.

  Eugene realized exactly who she was: the Orange Orangutango. She was going to squeeze all the juice from the oranges and make kids drink the gross pulpy kind of orange juice!

  But Eugene was ready this time.

  BACKPACK!

  UNZIP!

  CAPE!

  SUPERHERO!

  “I’m taking you down, Orange Orangutango!”

  “My goodness!” The woman huffed at the sight of Captain Awesome. She backed away, bumping into the stack of oranges.

  “Stop!” Captain Awesome yelled in his heroic “stop” voice. Captain Awesome was about to follow her, but one orange rolled off the pile. Then another. Then another. Then dozens came tumbling to the floor . . . and kept coming. Captain Awesome tripped on an orange and fell. He tried to stand up. Oranges dropped into his lap and knocked him back to the ground.

  “Euge—I mean Captain Awesome!” Eugene’s mom gasped as oranges rolled down the aisle. “Are you okay?”

  “Did you see her?” Captain Awesome exclaimed. “She was here. The Orange Orangutango in all her orange-ish villain-ness!”

  “I don’t see anybody but you and some oranges, honey,” she said. “A lot of oranges.”

  She was right. Captain Awesome looked up and down the aisle. The Orange Orangutango was gone. He sighed. “I’ll pick up the oranges.”

  Three villains were at his house yesterday, and now three more had shown up at the store.

  That’s six villains in two days, Eugene thought. Something evil was brewing in Sunnyview.

  He was sure of it.

  Eugene yanked open the closet door and dove in.

  “I’ve got you now . . . coats?! Jackets?!” No villain was hiding inside the hallway closet.

  Eugene ran into the bathroom and shoved aside the shower curtain. No villains in the bathroom either.

  Eugene ran to the laundry room. Nothing in the washing machine. But what about . . . the DRYER? Nope, nothing there either.

  With his sweep of the house completed, Eugene sat down at the dinner table.

  GASP!

  SHOCK!

  BUNNY!

  There was a villain in his house and it was sitting right at the dinner table with his family! It wasn’t the plate of asparagus in front of him—although that came in as a close second. No, it was the floppy ears peeking over the edge of the table.

  Those ears belonged to The Thumper, who was sitting next to Queen Stinkypants, giving Eugene the evil rabbit stare. The Thumper was using his dynamic Bunny Hop-nosis to make sure Eugene ate all his asparagus.

  “Not tonight, Thumper!” Eugene cried. He jumped on top of the table. “I’m sending you back to the Easter Pits of Bunnytopia once and for all!”

  Eugene grabbed the bunny from Queen Stinkypants. He ran to the refrigerator and squeezed Thumper next to the egg carton. A superhero job well done.

  Eugene turned back to his family. “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t like bunnies watching me while I eat.”

  But then Queen Stinkypants unleashed her secret weapon: The Tears of Evil.

  “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

  Eugene had to stop it before it destroyed the whole house . . . or all of Sunnyview . . . or the world! Once again, Eugene knew he had to fight evil with evil. He went and grabbed Thumper from the fridge—using tongs so he didn’t touch the stuffed bunny. Then he dropped Thumper in Queen Stinkypants’s lap. It worked. She stopped crying.

  Eugene’s mom smiled. “I have a surprise for you, Eugene.”

  “Are we having chocolate pudding with gummy worms and whipped cream for dessert?

  Mrs. McGillicudy shook her head. “Nope. Better.”

  Better? What could be better than chocolate pudding with gummy worms and whipped cream for dessert? Eugene wondered.

  “There’s a Super Du
de-tastic Super Party at the comic book store tomorrow,” Mrs. McGillicudy said.

  Eugene’s mouth dropped open. A bite of asparagus fell out and landed on his plate. How did I not know this?!

  “There may even be an appearance by Super Dude himself,” Eugene’s mom added.

  “I—Charlie—but—Sally—what—I,” Eugene lost the power to fit words together in a sentence.

  “I’ll be taking you and Charlie and Sally,” his mom explained, answering the question Eugene couldn’t ask.

  Then it hit Eugene like a bolt of lightning from the Lightning Bolt herself. Villains popping up all over Sunnyview! The Super Dude-tastic Super Party! The comic book store! It was all making sense now.

  Super Dude was going to be at the comic book store. All of Sunnyview’s villains were uniting in some kind of Evil League of Get Together. There was a reason Eugene was running into them.

  There was about to be a mega hero versus villain superbattle at the comic book store tomorrow. Eugene had to warn Super Dude! But how?

  HOW?!

  Good morning, citizen! Rise and shine like a hero!”

  Eugene’s talking Super Dude alarm clock went off right at eight a.m. He bolted from the bed. There was no question about what he’d wear—he needed his Captain Awesome suit. Fortunately, he had slept in it.

  Captain Awesome ran down the stairs two at a time. He wanted to eat fast and get to the comic book store early.

  DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

  There was something wrong in the house this morning. Captain Awesome sensed it right away.