Captain Awesome vs. the Spooky Scary House Read online

  Table of Contents

  1. Halloween, Halloween

  2. The Scarecroaker!

  3. Do You Know Where We Are?

  4. The Creepy House Is Really . . . Creepy

  5. Welcome to My Nightmare

  6. The Double Dog Dare

  7. Beware of the Sneaky Sneakers!

  8. Getting Coco-Nutty

  9. The Headless Head of the Sunnyview Spirit!

  10. The Rotten Plan of Princess Pinky from Ponytopia!

  11. The Mystery Hero Mystery . . . Solved!

  ‘Captain Awesome Gets Crushed’ Excerpt

  ‘About Stan Kirby and George O’connor’

  “BOO!”

  Eugene McGillicudy pedaled his bike next to his best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones.

  Could Halloween be any more awesome? Eugene thought.

  There were the jack-o’-lanterns, the falling leaves, the chill of the autumn air. And best of all . . .

  TRICK OR TREAT!

  There was the dressing up in costumes and running from house to house to collect as much candy and chocolate as your hands—or backs—could carry!

  You didn’t get that amount of awesomeness on Presidents’ Day or even on a snow day.

  And Halloween was getting closer.

  Eugene and Charlie took the long way home from school. They pedaled slowly, their eyes darting from side to side. The dry fall leaves swirled across the street and crunched under the wheels of their bikes.

  The town of Sunnyview went all out for Halloween. Houses were covered in fake spider-webs and pumpkins were on every porch. One yard had a mummy in a coffin, and another had Frankenstein sitting in a rocking chair. But Eugene and Charlie weren’t just enjoying the spooky scenes.

  They were out on patrol.

  MONSTER PATROL!

  For real monsters, Halloween was like their birthday. It was a chance for them to run freely around Sunnyview without anyone thinking twice about it. In the dark no one could tell the difference between the real Count Fangula and Kieran Phillips in a vampire costume.

  “You see any evil yet, Charlie?” Eugene asked.

  “Just a torn paper skeleton,” Charlie responded.

  The boys were determined to stop Halloween evil. No monsters would ruin the greatest day in the history of free candy! Eugene and Charlie would stop them because that’s what their favorite superhero, Super Dude, would do.

  What’s that you say?

  You’ve never heard of Super Dude? WHAT?! Do you not have all of his comic books, movies, video games, and action figures?

  Super Dude is the super superhero who once washed the evil Liquid Fury down the drain in Super Dude and the Clean Car Wash of Cleanliness.

  Super Dude was a true hero and Eugene’s favorite. He was, after all, the main reason Eugene became Sunnyview’s first and most awesome superhero. Eugene was the one, the only . . . CAPTAIN AWESOME!

  MI-TEE!

  With his best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones (also known as the superhero Nacho Cheese Man), and their class pet hamster, Turbo, Eugene formed the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to stop the eviling of bad guys.

  SKID!

  Eugene skidded to a stop at the edge of Mr. Muckleberry’s driveway. A tingle ran up his arm and zipped through his whole body.

  “What is it, Eugene?” Charlie asked. He could tell Eugene was sensing something bad.

  “Shhh. Over there.” Eugene pointed across the lawn. . . .

  A creature stood next to Mr. Muckleberry. But not just any creature. It was the enemy of pumpkins and children everywhere: the Scarecroaker!

  The awful scarecrow had a straw-stuffed body, floppy hat, and burlap mask covering his face. Looking like a normal scarecrow was just one of his many powers.

  But Eugene knew better. The Scarecroaker was trouble. He was just a few straws away from Mr. Muckleberry, who was working quietly in his yard hanging tiny plastic pumpkins from his maple tree.

  “Mr. Muckleberry! Look out!” the boys shouted in unison.

  Mr. Muckleberry didn’t speak.

  Oh no! He’s been hypnotized by the Scarecroaker’s Straw Trance! Eugene thought.

  This was just like that time in the Super Dude Creepy Halloween Special No. 2, when Super Dude battled the Vampirates and their fleet of Flying Coffin Ships. He turned their wooden ships into splinters, which had, in turn, turned the Vampirates into dust.

  Stopping the Scarecroaker was a job for the Sunnyview Superhero Squad!

  “Hey, Scarecroaker! Stay away from Mr. Muckleberry, you evil scarecrow made of straw!” Captain Awesome jumped the MI-TEE Mobile over the curb and pedaled across Mr. Muckleberry’s lawn.

  “We are going to knock your stuffing into November!” Captain Awesome yelled to the Scarecroaker.

  “What he said!” Nacho Cheese Man added. He pulled a can of cheese from his backpack and steered the Cheesy Rider up the driveway. “Cheesy YO!”

  Hmmmmm. Eugene was thinking.

  Hmmmmm. Eugene was thinking harder.

  Hmmmmm! Ouch! He was thinking so hard his head hurt.

  “Eugene?” Charlie said. “Where are we?”

  After defeating the very evil Scarecroaker, the superheroes had sped away superfast from Mr. Muckleberry’s house. He hadn’t had time to thank Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man for saving his life since he was too busy raking up all the scattered straw from his lawn.

  The superheroes zigged, then zagged, doubled back, turned right four times, left four times, and cut through Mr. Worth’s pumpkin patch, down a dirt road, through a gravel alley, and then stopped to catch their breath.

  SKID!

  They ended up on the street where their friend Sally Williams lived. Her house had a glowing jack-o’-lantern on the porch and ghosts hanging in all the windows.

  “We should go say hi to Sally,” Charlie suggested.

  “Not now, Charlie. Look!” At the end of the street was something Eugene had never noticed before. Eugene was pointing to a yard overgrown with trees that looked like they were eating the ground under them.

  FLASH!

  Gasp! That was that? Eugene thought. Is there something in the trees?

  “Charlie! My Super-Awesome Super-Vision is detecting something worth seeing. Let’s go check it out.”

  A chill went up Charlie’s spine. “Eugene! Wait! What if that’s the house where the deadly Manguar, half man, half jaguar, lives? I don’t think he’d want us knocking on his front door.”

  Too late.

  Eugene jumped his bike up onto the curb and headed through the trees. Charlie sighed and pedaled to catch up.

  Eugene powered through the trees that were trying to grab him and the branches that were trying to scratch him.

  Charlie blasted through the jungle behind him. “Eugene! Where are you?” Charlie pushed the branches out of his way, struggling to keep his balance. “Eugene!”

  Suddenly Charlie stumbled across Eugene’s bike. But where was Eugene? Charlie got off his bike and ran out of the trees. Eugene was waiting for him. A large, three-story house was in front of them.

  “Look at this place, Charlie.”

  Sunlight gleamed off a broken attic window. The front door flopped open as if someone had punched it, shutters on the upstairs windows were crooked, and the porch railing was missing pieces. Paint was peeling so much that it looked like the house had a bad sunburn.

  No one had lived there for a long time.

  Eugene and Charlie dropped to the ground. They crept along the grass toward the front porch.

  Eugene peeked over the edge. The porch was empty. “Come on, Charlie.”

  Charlie gulped as he followed Eugene. Keeping lo
w to the ground, they reached the stairs.

  “I think my Awesome Sense is tingling again,” Eugene said.

  “I think it’s your Creepy Sense,” Charlie said. “This house is creepy. Those windows look like eyes.”

  Charlie was right. Worse, the door looked like a crooked mouth laughing at them. The roof and the chimney looked like an evil top hat.

  Eugene realized the horrible truth. “Charlie! This is no ordinary house at the end of an ordinary street. This house is here on purpose.”

  “On purpose? For people to live in, right?” Charlie asked.

  “Wrong, my superhero friend! This is a house of no good!”

  “I was afraid you’d say that,” Charlie replied, shaking his head.

  Eugene took one step forward, then paused. His whole body was tingling. He felt weird. His hands were sweaty. He looked over to where he’d left his bike. “It’s getting late. We should come back later.”

  Charlie started backing up across the yard.

  The sun was setting. Long shadows fell across the front of the house. “You’re right, Eugene. Besides, I have to get home for, uh, dinner,” Charlie said. “And other kinds of stuff.”

  Eugene was quick to agree. “I’ve got to finish tonight’s homework. Maybe tomorrow night’s, too.”

  Charlie nodded. “Yep, nothing wrong with doing homework.”

  Eugene and Charlie ran over to their bikes and pushed them through the trees. Back on the street they hopped on the bikes and headed for home.

  They made it in record time.

  “Hello, house. We meet again.”

  That night, Eugene climbed the stairs to the porch of the abandoned house. Shadows from the overgrown trees made everything darker. And creepier.

  SCRATCH!

  Tree branches scraped across the windows. Eugene swallowed a lump that felt like a golf ball. He pushed open the front door and stepped inside the house.

  CREEEEEEEEEAAKKK!

  He was alone. At night. Inside the creepy old house.

  Why am I here by myself? Eugene wondered.

  The house was as dark as the inside of Captain Darkness’s all-powerful Midnight Helmet. A breeze chilled the air and Eugene shivered.

  BRRRRR.

  Eugene’s hand felt along the wall, trying to find a light switch. Got it!

  CLICK!

  Nothing.

  CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!

  Still nothing.

  Eugene smacked the wall with his hand.

  WHAP!

  Still no lights.

  Good thing there’s a full moon, Eugene thought. The moonlight shone in through the dusty, broken windows, cutting long rectangles across the wooden floor.

  Eugene suddenly felt nervous. He reminded himself that superheroes may get scared, but they’re still superheroes. He’d learned that from Super Dude No. 14, when Super Dude was afraid to enter Mr. Bones’s Zombie Cemetery.

  Super Dude went in anyway. If Super Dude could do something like that, then Eugene knew he could too. He placed his right foot onto the first step of the staircase in front of him.

  CREAK!

  That was the problem with old stairs. They always creaked.

  Eugene went for the second step.

  A black cat jumped off the stairs. By the time Eugene turned to look, the cat was gone.

  MEOW!

  Eugene shivered and climbed the second step . . . then the third.

  CREAK-CREAK!

  And then he heard something else entirely.

  What was that thump? Eugene froze on the stairs like he’d been hit with a blast of Frozen Freak’s Freeze Gas.

  THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!

  Footsteps!

  THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!

  The footsteps were on the second floor. Running. And they were getting closer. Someone or something was coming toward him.

  Eugene turned to run down the stairs. The footsteps were coming after him. Eugene’s legs felt like rubber. His feet were like concrete blocks. He had to get away.

  Eugene fell down the stairs and crashed onto the floor.

  OOF!

  He held his breath and listened. Closer . . . closer . . . The footsteps were at the top of the stairs now. Eugene turned and saw a shadow looking down at him. He wanted to scream, but his mouth was locked tight.

  “Eep” was all that came out. Eugene scrambled to his feet and ran toward the front door.

  SLAM! He crashed into the door and dropped to the floor.

  That was when Eugene woke up in his bed.

  He sat up. He was shaking and sweaty. He looked around his bedroom. His Super Dude poster was on the wall. Turbo was still in his hamster cage. He was home. A DREAM! It was all just a dream!

  No, not a dream. A nightmare!

  WHEW!

  “Turbo! You wouldn’t believe the nightmare I had,” Eugene said to the hamster.

  SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK! Turbo was happily spinning on his wheel, unaware of the horror Eugene had just gone through.

  Eugene wondered why he was nightmaring about that creepy old house. Was the house sending him a message? Or was there a new villain in Sunnyview, like the Dream Beaver or Nightmare Gnat, who was invading his sleep?

  I’ve got to tell Charlie about this in the morning, thought Eugene.

  And morning couldn’t come soon enough.

  “I’ll be a zombie!” Bernie Melnick said. “Braaaiiiinnnnssss!”

  “I’m going to be a princess!” Jessica Craven exclaimed.

  “I’m going to be a zombie princess,” said Mike Flinch. “I mean, prince. Zombie prince.”

  School was buzzing the next day. Halloween was getting closer, and everyone was excited about their costumes.

  Evan Mason even had the perfect Halloween equation. “If I wear a pirate costume with two swords, plus two eye patches, and say ‘yo ho ho trick or treat,’ I’ll get twice as much candy as anyone else. It’s a scientific fact!”

  But Eugene had something else on his mind: his nightmare. He’d been trying to tell Charlie about it all morning, but school kept getting in the way. . . .

  “Hey, Charlie!”

  BRRRINNGGG! The school bell rang.

  “Hey, Charlie!”

  “Please, Eugene, no talking in class,” his teacher Ms. Beasley said.

  “Hey, Charlie!”

  “Shhhhhh! Quiet in my library,” the school librarian shushed him. Eugene recognized her right away as the twisted bookshelf mastermind, The Shusher!

  By lunchtime Eugene was about to burst. He raced over to the table where Charlie was squirting blasts of Barbecue Cheese spray on the cafeteria’s Surprise Nuggets.

  “I’ve got to tell you about my nightmare. I was at the house,” Eugene said. “THE house.”

  “The house that gives out the full-size candy bars and lets us go back for seconds?” Charlie asked.

  “No,” Eugene corrected. “The creepy house on Sally’s street!”

  Charlie’s mouth fell open. His eyes got wide.

  Eugene continued. “I was there in my dream, I mean, my nightmare! There were footsteps and a creaky staircase! Then—THUMP!—someone or something came after me.”

  “Wow, Eugene! That’s fantastic!” Charlie took a deep breath and sucked down the last spray of canned cheese. He smiled. “I don’t know how else to say it,” he said. “It sounds like you got a new superpower! You can see into the future!”

  “But I—”

  “No buts,” Charlie said. “We’re going to win every game of dodge-ball! Even better: You’ll know exactly when my mom’s going to serve okra so I can ask to eat dinner at your house.”

  “But I don’t—”

  “Knowing the future is the perfect superpower!” Charlie was so excited that he was practically floating on thin air.

  “Charlie, I can’t see into the future!” Eugene yelled. “I think it was just a nightmare.”

  Charlie slumped onto his chair. “That’s too bad. Nightmares won’t help me avoid okra at all.”
br />   “But there is something about that old house, Charlie. Something scary,” Eugene said. “And we’re going to find out what that is.”

  “We’re going to find out by looking on the Internet, right, Eugene?”

  Eugene’s chuckle sent a chill up Charlie’s spine. He knew what Eugene was thinking.

  “This is a job for the Sunnyview Superhero Squad,” Eugene said. “Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man have to protect the citizens of Sunnyview from that creepy old house and whatever evil may be lurking inside it!”

  Charlie sighed. “A superhero has to do what a superhero has to do,” he said, nodding. That was Super Dude’s motto. “I’ll get an extra supply of canned cheese.”

  “Soggy French fries are the best!” Jake Story cried. He grabbed a cold, limp French fry from the cafeteria food line and popped it into his mouth. He smiled and pushed the mushy mess through his front teeth with his tongue.

  Usually Charlie and Eugene were more than eager to join Jake in grossing out the girls with a mushy food frenzy, but today was different. Today was serious.

  “We’ve gotta figure out how to get into that house, Charlie,” Eugene said. “Any ideas?”

  “Maybe we can ask our dads to go with us?” Charlie asked hopefully. “You know, as sort of a ‘take your dad to superhero duty day’?”

  “No way, dude!” said Eugene. “We’re trained superheroes! Our dads may be experts at barbecuing, but we don’t know what’s inside that house! It might have tentacles or fifty eyeballs or fifty tentacles with eyeballs!”