Captain Awesome and the Missing Elephants Read online

  “The Brussels Sprouts Café?!” Eugene and Charlie said at the same time, gasping in horror.

  GROSS!

  “Yep! This is where we take all the school field trips,” Randy said proudly. “This place is a lot healthier than the zoo cafeteria.”

  Randy held the door open and the class sadly marched toward the disgrace of steamed vegetables and sugar-free apple juice. Jake Story let out a small whimper and it even looked as if Jane Romita was about to cry.

  The moment the smell of roasted brussels sprouts attacked Eugene’s nose, he grabbed Charlie and pulled him into the boys’ bathroom.

  “Do you know where we are?!” Eugene asked urgently.

  Charlie looked around. “In the boys’ bathroom at the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo?”

  “No! Randy’s taken us to the secret food mines of the Brussels Sprouter!” Eugene explained.

  “What?! No!” Charlie said, gasping. “And I thought this was just a normal bathroom.”

  “There’s nothing ‘normal’ about Brussels sprouts!” Eugene cried. “Looks like this is a job for the forces of goodness and those who fight for a yummy lunch!”

  ZIP!

  UNFOLD!

  CAPES!

  The two boys pulled out their superhero costumes and transformed into the terrific twosome known as . . .

  CAPTAIN AWESOME and NACHO CHEESE MAN!

  “I’ll not be tricked by your trickery, trickster!” Captain Awesome called out to Randy as he raced from the bathroom with Nacho Cheese Man. “I know you’re leading us into the lair of the sinister Brussels Sprouter!”

  “Brussels Sprouter?” Randy looked around, confused. “That’s just our cook, Lewis.”

  Lewis carried a tray of freshly steamed vegetables. He was dressed in an apron with zebra stripes, and he wore a hat that looked like a zebra head. He waved to the kids.

  “Boiled carrots?! He knows my carroty weakness!” Nacho Cheese Man gagged, falling to his knees. “Growing . . . weak . . .”

  HERO DOWN!

  “Look out! He’s also got asparagus!” Captain Awesome fell to his knees next to Nacho Cheese Man. “Everyone! Run!”

  It didn’t take much to make the kids in Ms. Beasley’s class run around like crazy people, and a guy dressed as a zebra carrying a tray of steamed vegetables was the only excuse they needed.

  “Run before the zucchini gets us!” Dara Sim yelled.

  “Ahhh! I’m turning into cauliflower!” Neal Chaykin screamed.

  Stan Kirby Jr. ran in circles and just kept yelling, “BOK CHOY! BOK CHOY! BOK CHOY!” as loud as he could.

  Meanwhile Meredith just sat silently, arms crossed, glaring at Captain Awesome.

  After Ms. Beasley’s class was offered chocolate milk with elephant straws just to be quiet, lunch was over.

  “Okay, who’s ready to see the gorillas?” Randy called out.

  A chorus of cheers rang out, except for one lone voice that asked, “What about the elephants?”

  Randy turned to Eugene. “We’ll try to get there, bud, but I can’t promise that you’ll see much. These elephants don’t like crowds,” he replied. “Now can anyone tell me what continent gorillas come from?” he asked as they arrived at Gorilla Gulch.

  “Africa!” Meredith yelled out without raising her hand.

  “There are elephants in Africa too!” Eugene added.

  “I wish you were in Africa!” Meredith snarled.

  “And I wish you were on the moon!” Eugene replied.

  Randy pointed out a big black gorilla sitting next to a tree. “That’s a silverback. He’s the leader of the troop.”

  “Okay, that’s actually pretty cool,” Eugene whispered to Charlie.

  “Come on, gang!” Randy called. “Next stop: giraffes! A fully grown giraffe can be as tall as twenty feet!”

  “A fully grown elephant can use its trunk to reach as high as twenty-three feet,” Eugene called out.

  “That’s true, but we’re talking about giraffes now,” Randy replied.

  Eugene imagined what it would be like to have a neck like a giraffe. He stretched his own neck as high as it would go.

  Charlie tapped Eugene on the shoulder and snapped him out of his daydream. “Come on,” Charlie said. “We’re going to see the tigers!”

  ROAR!

  “We have three Bengal tigers here at the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo,” Randy said as they arrived at the Mall of Tigers. “Bengal tigers live in the wild in India.”

  “You know what else you can find in the wild in India?” Sally asked.

  “Elephants!” Randy replied. “And that brings us to the moment you’ve all been waiting for . . . and some of you definitely more than others,” he added, looking at Eugene. “Next stop is the—”

  “ELEPHANTS!” cried Eugene. He turned and raced down the path toward the Elephant Habitat. “MI-TEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  “What he said!” Charlie yelled, and ran after Eugene with Sally right beside him.

  Finally! The Elephant Habitat! Huge rocks! Tall trees! A small lake! It was everything Eugene, Charlie, and Sally had dreamed it would be. Except for one very important thing . . .

  “Where are all the elephants?!” Eugene cried.

  “As I said, these elephants can be a little shy,” Randy repeated.

  Eugene couldn’t believe it. “But they weigh more than ten thousand pounds! They’re more than ten-feet tall! They have twenty-six teeth! What are they shy about?!”

  “I can’t say I ever asked them,” Randy joked.

  But Eugene didn’t laugh. Neither did Charlie or Sally.

  “Look, I’m really sorry,” Randy continued. “I wish the elephants would come out so everyone could see them, but one rule we have at the zoo is that we never force the animals to do something they don’t want to do. We’re almost out of time, but is there any place you’d like to go visit again?”

  “Pink Flamingo Pond!” Meredith called out.

  BARF!

  “You got it,” Randy said. “Let’s check it out again!”

  DOUBLE BARF!

  Charlie gasped. “Do you think Randy and Little Miss Stinky Pinky are working together?!” he asked.

  “That’s even more obvious than the spots on a giraffe,” Eugene said, shaking his head. “Randy is not a normal employee of the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo. He’s the Raging Randonkey, who tries to keep kids from seeing their favorite animals!”

  “Of course!” Sally agreed. “Why else would he bail on the elephants?”

  “And take the class back to the place only Meredith wants to go,” Eugene added. “It can’t end like this, team! It can’t!”

  “What do we do?” Sally asked.

  Eugene knew. “We’re going to do what Super Dude would do!” he replied. “We’re going to fight for truth, justice, and our right to see some elephants!”

  “SUNNYVIEW SUPERHERO SQUAD, ASSEMBLE!” Eugene, Charlie, and Sally called out in heroic unison.

  BACKPACKS!

  OUTFITS!

  SUPERHEROES!

  “Follow me, guys. Next stop, Pink Flamingo Pond!” Randy said. But Randy never made it to the flamingoes, because his path was suddenly blocked by the World’s Most Awesomest Superheroes!

  “Whoa, not so fast, Raging Randonkey!” Captain Awesome said, thrusting out his hand like a stop sign. “We’re here to save the day . . . and this field trip!”

  “Well, well, if it isn’t Captain Lame-o, Lame-o Cheese Man, and Supersonic Lame-o,” Meredith sneered. “Shouldn’t you three be hanging from the trees with the monkeys?”

  Captain Awesome stepped forward and said in his most superheroey voice, “Move aside, Your Stinky Pinkyness! We’ve got elephants to save!”

  Then Captain Awesome, Nacho Cheese Man, and Supersonic Sal raced past Meredith to the barrier of the Elephant Habitat.

  “What do we do now?” Nacho Cheese Man asked, feeling somewhat nervous once he realized that everyone was watching them.

  “We use our super elephant-calling powe
rs!” Captain Awesome said. Then he let loose a mighty “HOOOOOOOONK!” to imitate the sound of an elephant.

  Supersonic Sal and Nacho Cheese Man immediately joined in. They waved their arms in front of their faces as if they were trunks.

  “HOOOOOOOONK!”

  Other zoo visitors gathered around the Elephant Habitat—not to see the elephants, but to stare at the three strange kids waving their arms like trunks and making elephant noises as loudly as they could.

  “HOOOOOOOONK!”

  The heroic trio trumpeted at the top of their superlungs and . . . nothing happened. Not a sound in reply. Not a peep. Not a squeak. And certainly not an elephant. Even Ms. Beasley was disappointed.

  “I don’t think it’s going to work,” Nacho Cheese Man said with a sad sigh.

  “I’m not giving up!” Captain Awesome replied. “Did Super Dude give up when the Vampire Snowman tried to give him a frostbite? Did he quit when the Umpirate called him out at home plate and made him walk the plank? No! Super Dude never quits, and neither does Captain Awesome!”

  Captain Awesome took a deep superbreath and let out the biggest, mightiest, elephantiest elephant noise anyone had ever heard!

  “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!”

  “Well, that was entertaining . . . NOT,” said Meredith. She opened her mouth to let out a huge fake yawn, but it turned into a ginormous gasp instead! “Look!” she shouted.

  PEEK!

  STARE!

  A long, gray trunk appeared from behind a giant boulder! And that trunk was connected to . . . a big, beautiful elephant!

  “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOONK!” the elephant replied to Captain Awesome.

  And then a second elephant appeared, followed by a third and a fourth. One by one the elephants came out until the whole herd stood at the edge of the water and raised their trunks to join Captain Awesome, Nacho Cheese Man, and Supersonic Sal. Then Wilma Eisner started to trumpet. And Olivia Simonson. And Mike Flinch, Gil Ditko, and Dara Sim. Even Ms. Beasley and the other zoo visitors joined in until it was one big, elephant-trumpeting parade!

  Then Randy tried his elephant call too! Maybe he wasn’t the Raging Randonkey after all.

  “We did it, Captain Awesome! We got the elephants to come out!” Nacho Cheese Man cheered.

  He, Supersonic Sal, and Captain Awesome gave one another mighty High Fives of Elephant Victory!

  The field trip was almost over. All that was left was a last stop at the zoo gift shop. Eugene wanted to buy presents for his mom and dad . . . and even his little sister, Queen Stinkypants. And that was when he saw it. “Sally! Charlie! Look at this!” Eugene called out.

  Sally and Charlie turned to see the most amazing gift anyone could ever get: the totally brand-new Super Dude Zoo Special!

  JOY!

  It was sixty-four-pages of evil-punching awesomeness! And all for the low price of $5.95!

  “I’ve got one dollar left!” Eugene said.

  “I’ve got three dollars left!” Sally added.

  Both kids looked to Charlie in anticipation as he dug through his pockets and pulled out two piles of coins.

  “I’ve got . . . ninety-five cents!” Charlie said.

  “That’s only four dollars and ninety-five cents!” Eugene said, groaning. “We’re one dollar short! How can the forces of good be one dollar short at a time like this?!”

  “Don’t worry, guys. We’ve got you covered.”

  The trio turned to see their classmates holding out coins. Each classmate handed change to Eugene until they got to one dollar.

  “We thank Captain Awesome and his friends for a great day,” Mike Flinch said.

  “Best field trip ever!” Jane Romita agreed.

  Eugene, Charlie, and Sally were ready to pay for their Super Dude Zoo Special, but Randy stepped in to block their way.

  “Not so fast, guys,” he said.

  If it’s a fight he wants . . . Eugene thought.

  But it wasn’t. Instead Randy handed Eugene, Charlie, and Sally their own special elephant pins. “By the authority of the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo, I hereby declare you: Eugene McGillicudy, Charlie Thomas Jones, and Sally Williams to be Honorary Elephants!”

  HOOOOOONK!

  It turned out Eugene was wrong about Randy. He was a good guy.

  The kids were back on the bus within minutes.

  Eugene was once again stuck next to Meredith, who was petting the pink stuffed flamingo she had bought at the gift shop.

  But Eugene didn’t even mind. He, Charlie, and Sally had saved the day, seen the elephants, found a new Super Dude comic, and even become Honorary Elephants. There was only one word to sum up how Eugene felt . . .

  MI-TEE!

  TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK.

  Eugene stared at the gigantic clock on the wall as his teacher, Ms. Beasley, said lots of words he wasn’t listening to. He had more important things to think about.

  Like: Was the school bell ever going ring?

  And: What was taking the weekend so long to get here?

  I have big plans, Eugene thought.

  BIG WEEKEND PLANS!

  Eugene squirmed in his chair. He could hardly wait. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Are there any three days that go together better? They’re like cake, icing, and sprinkles! They’re like popping a balloon and finding it’s full of ice cream! They’re like, well, you get the idea.

  When STAN KIRBY was six years old, he tied a beach towel around his neck and became Super Commander Beach Boy. He tried his best to protect sand castles from the waves, keep seagulls away from his french fries, and keep the beach clean. When Stan’s not creating the awesome adventures of Captain Awesome, he loves reading comic books, eating okra, and hang gliding (but not at the same time).

  GEORGE O’CONNOR’S cover—as a mild-mannered clerk in one of Gotham’s most beloved children’s bookstores—was completely blown when his first picture book, KAPOW!, exploded onto the scene. Forced to leave the bookselling world behind, he now spends even more time in his secret Brooklyn, New York, hideout—where he uses his amazing artistic powers to strike fear in the hearts of bad guys everywhere!

  Little Simon

  Simon & Schuster • New York

  CaptainAwesomeBooks.com

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 • Copyright © 2014 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. LITTLE SIMON is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and associated colophon is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. Designed by Jay Colvin. Jacket design by Jay Colvin. Jacket illustrations by Simon & Schuster, Inc.

  www.SimonandSchuster.com

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Kirby, Stan. Captain Awesome and the missing elephant / by Stan Kirby ; illustrated by George O’Connor. — First edition. pages cm. — (Captain Awesome ; #10) Summary: “On a class field trip to the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo, Eugene McGillicudy’s favorite animals—the elephants—are missing! Is Randy the tour guide really the evil Raging Radonkey, trying to ruin the field trip? Can the Sunnyview Superhero Squad save the day and find the elephants?” — Provided by publisher. [1. Superheroes—Fiction. 2. School field trips—Fiction. 3. Lost and found possessions—Fiction. 4. Elephants—Fiction. 5. Zoos—Fiction.] I. O’Connor, George, illustrator. II. Title. PZ7.K633529Cad 2014 [E] —dc23 2013001072

  ISBN 978-1-4424-8994-3 (pbk)

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nbsp; ISBN 978-1-4424-8995-0 (hc)

  ISBN 978-1-4424-8996-7 (eBook)